M is for MY Kids are NOT My Kids

I am writing this post in conjunction with Blogging through the Alphabet tonight.

Dad’s and husbands of homeschooling mom’s out there, this is going straight to you from my heart.  We have kids and we love them.  We have watched them grow and long to see what they will become in life.  Given the chance we can be overheard saying “Let me tell you about my kids.”, when in reality guys, they are not ours.

The first commandment given to Adam and Eve (the original biblical family, husband and wife, man and woman) was :

Genesis 1:28

28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.”

We as humans were told to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. We were told to have kids. We are also told that kids are a reward.

Psalm 127:3

3 Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord,
children, a reward.

Now if you get something as a reward, it was not yours in the beginning, it was given to you. Jacob refers to his children as a gift as well.

Genesis 33:5

5 When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he asked, “Who are these with you?”
He answered, “The children God has graciously given your servant.”

We as the dad need to change our way of thinking about our kids. Instead of think of what we have or what we created, we should be saying “Look at the blessing God has done for me.” The Lord has entrusted these precious gifts of life into our care. You will be all they know for a time. You get to watch them grow, play with them, share time with them and take a thousand photos with them, but they don’t belong to you. You should love, teach, nurture, encourage, protect and sacrifice for them, but remember who they come from and belong to.

Deuteronomy 5

5Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children.  Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

There will be times you must discipline them, and you should do it with instruction. For discipline without instruction is punishment. God loves you when you are disciplined and you should treat your kids the same way. When I am brought to the point of spanking the kids, I have found that I must pray first. If I am doing any form of discipline in rage or anger, I am not in control and I will not have control of the situation or the desired outcome. Afterwards, I grab my kids and hold them in a hug. At times it is a fighting hug. They will try to get away from me, squirm or push away, but I hold on. Just like God does to his children He loves. We do wrong, and when we are confronted with that wrongness and are disciplined, God loves us back into where we should be. That is the example of fatherly discipline. During that time when I am holding on, I talk to them about making better choices next time and ensure them that I love them.

Ephesians 6:4

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Because there will come a time dad when we will not be there and they will be faced with a decision to make, hopefully we will have prepared and equipped them with what they need to make the right decision.

How do we prepare and equip them? We as dads set the example! We do not tell or show them what we want them to believe and then do what we want. Kids have the uncanny ability to show up when we least expect it and if they see this hypocritical attitude, then you just lost a small battle. Let you kids see you in prayer and reading God’s word.  Let them see where your understanding comes from.

Psalm 111:10

10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow His instructions have good insight.
His praise endures forever.

So remember dads and husbands of homeschooling mom’s, we are children of the Most High God ourselves and the ones we call our kids are the same. He has just entrusted us with their care.

Grace & Peace,
Husband of a Homeschooling Mom
Blogging Through the Alphabet

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