Before we get going, this is not a step-by-step how to instruction for your kids. This is going out to the dads of the kids. There are times when we as dads just need some instructions to help guide us along the way. Hopefully, what you see here will in fact help you learn how to train your kid!
There are times when your kids will start asking questions. They turn into rapid fire machines it would seem and are able to ask questions faster than you can answer. They will start humming or making noises that will somehow find just the right wavelength to become the most irritating noise in the world. They will sit there and stare at their math work for two hours trying to decide if 516 people can play chess at the same time since he does not know how many chess boards are available (using the rules of division and two people play at a time, then the answer is yes. It does not matter how many boards are available…just in case you were thinking the same thing.)
In such times, I know that I have the unique ability to absolutely crush and destroy my child emotionally. I know this because I have done so. It is not a badge of honor or something that I am proud of, it is a flaw that I am bringing light to so others may be aware that it happens. But over time, I have learned a thing or two about not crushing them, but instead crushing my will and my desire to make them conform into what I believe they should be and let them be what God wants them to be.
6 Teach a youth about the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
(Proverbs 22:6 HCSB)
This verse shows both the positive and negative sides of doing this to your kids. Today I will be covering the negative side, the one that all dads like to hide and wish that we did not produce. Train ~ teach a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time. Sadly enough I am teaching or training my kids the skill of berating, belittling, harsh words, insensitivity, uncaring and harshness. Now as a father in charge of the well being and shaping of my kids, am I succeeding in teaching him the correct way? No. I am not.
So if I am to train up a child, what exactly should I do? How am I to be equipped to do this so my kids are not broken by my words and actions. Let’s take a look at the following verse and break it down.
2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
(Romans 12:2 HCSB)
- Do not be conformed : We are creatures of habit and environment. We will slowly pickup the habits of others and we will conform to the environment of which we work and live in routinely. Dad, are there people at your work that are emotionally broke and bankrupt and they lash out? You may have grown up in a household with parents that broke you emotionally. However, is that an excuse – no.
- to this age : We live in an age of instant gratification and instant answers. You want an answer, people say “Just Google it”. Right now there are people from all over the globe reading this article due to the age of which we live in. We want it, we can have it in most cases. Especially if we are willing to pay or sacrifice anything to get it.
- but be transformed : Transformed ~ make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of A through change. Not a half way change or a just an hour or two change, while the wife is present or company is over. A change in appearance or character. If you change your character, your appearance or countenance will change as well.
- by the renewing of your mind : 13 accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. 14 Above all, put on love — the perfect bond of unity. 15 And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful (Colossians 3:13-15 HCSB) There are times that we need to just forgive others and remember that Christ has forgiven us of our sins. Guys, as much as we like to think it, we are not perfect and we need to learn to love one another. Even when questions are on rapid fire.
- so you may discern : 9 So give Your servant an obedient heart to judge Your people and to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?” (1 Kings 3:9 HCSB) Solomon was called the wisest person who ever lived, I believe it had something to do with that verse. He, unlike so many other men, was willing to cry out to God and ask for help. When was the last time that you asked for help in your attitude with your family?
- what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. : 1 First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, 2 for kings and all those who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. 3 This is good, and it pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:1-4 HCSB) Guys, we are the authority in our houses. We are the kings of our realm. It is up to us to be praying for our family to come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ and the truth that is in him. This can be a huge task, but it is our job dad.
The next time that the questions start shooting out of your kids mouth, or the humming and noises are on your last nerve, stop and pray. Because the only way that we can guide and train our kids is if we the dads first are transformed and are doing the will of God.
Till next time…
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,