Dads, we need to talk. What are the kids in your house doing right now? Do they have access to a computer with internet access? Are they allowed to have a cell phone with internet access? Have you looked at the apps on your kids devices? Are you even in touch with what your kids are doing electronically? Are they looking at porn? Yeah, I said it, let’s talk about that.
Men there is a growing problem in today’s society that is hitting kids at a younger age each year. Porn. It’s a photo, video, game, or alternate reality that they are pulled into more and more and at younger ages. Soft porn, regular porn, hardcore porn, it does not matter to the kids. They don’t really group it into categories like “adults” do. See, adults will place things into categories so we can talk about it on different levels. I have had a dad talk to me and describe the levels from low to high in porn so I could talk to kids about it appropriately. For those of you that did not know, there are no levels or degrees. It is all the same and needs to be treated that way.
You may think that I am over reacting. I hate to bust your utopian bubble, but maybe you need to check up on your kids. And don’t think that if your kids are in church, that they are not in this group! This is something that sadly enough is just as prevalent in the church as it is anywhere else. I read copies of studies, and reports, from religious organizations and secular organizations. The reports are showing an alarming rate of the age becoming younger and younger. Kids in 5th, 4th and some in 3rd grade are being exposed to this booming business via the internet. Sometimes it is accidentally, or friends showing friends, or there are times that it older kids showing younger kids.
“My kids are not viewing porn or anything like that!”
Have you checked their phone, tablet, Facebook page, Twitter account, Snapchat, Viber, Skout, Whatsapp, text messages, AfterSchool, KiK, Private Photo Vault, POF, incognito windows in browsers, Google+, MiKandi, You Now, Redditt, Tumblr, SoChat, Tinder, Yik Yak, or Pintrest accounts? Bet you have not even hear of some of those apps, sites or locations. Bet your kids have. Guys, this is a growing problem all around us. Unfortunately in some of our own houses!
In 2012, Tru Research conducted 2,017 online interviews with teens, ages 13-17, and parents of teens:
71% of teens have done something to hide what they do online from their parents (this includes clearing browser history, minimizing a browser when in view, deleting inappropriate videos, lying about behavior, using a phone instead of a computer,blocking parents with social media privacy settings, using private browsing, disabling parental controls, or having e-mail or social media accounts unknown to parents).
32% of teens admit to intentionally accessing nude or pornographic content online. Of these, 43% do so on a weekly basis. Only 12% of parents knew their teens were accessing pornography.
The internet can be a scary place. And if the dangers of internet porn can shake up an adult, think of what it can do to your kids. Think of the long term effects on your kids. Men, we need to set the bar. We need to be the example. We need to be the first with the most when it comes to this issue with our kids. You see, we will be quick to talk to them about drugs, or drinking. Yet when it comes to porn, we get a bit uncomfortable, we feel awkward, we think that they might already know about it so we avoid our discomfort and remain quiet. However, you have kids that are quietly watching, reading, texting, sharing, and talking about what you are to scared to mention.
Guys I need you to start in your own household today. Start today and talk to your kids about what is right and what is wrong. Talk to your kids so they will know when this is presented to them, they will leave it alone. Find a filter for your computers, phones, or devices that have internet access. Set limits on times, and sites that your kids can view.
My house uses Covenant Eyes for our devices and I have Ourpact installed on my kids devices. Two great apps that are helping my wife and I stay on top of this problem. But the best thing that you can do is talk to your kids. We live so much in a digital age that most communication done between family members is done through text. We walk looking at our devices, we talk through our devices, we sit next to our loved ones and send them a smiling emoji instead of looking at them and smiling.
One last thing men. If you are having a problem with porn, get help. Find you a person that you can talk to and ask them to become an accountability partner with you. Someone that can help you be the man you need to be for your wife and your kids. Block the sites on your computer, ask your accountability partner to set filters on your computer so you don’t bypass them at times of weakness. Men, you are the key to getting this done. You are the man of the house and it’s time to take responsibility. Here are some great resources from CovenantEyes can help you as you make this stand. If you sign up through Husband of a Homeschooling Mom, you will get 1 month free of CovenantEyes! This will allow you to try it out and see if it makes a difference in your family. Let me know your thoughts and suggestions to help with issue of porn and kids in the comments below.
Till next time….
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,
Steve Blackston
