Guys as I have gone around talking this spring at Teach Them Diligently Homeschool Conferences this one question has kept coming up at each conference. “When is the right time to have THE TALK with your kids?” or “What age is right for THE TALK with kids?” and “What did you say when you had THE TALK with your kids?” So here we go with the When and What on THE TALK.


I had THE TALK with my boys around the age of 12 and 13. This is the age when hormones are starting to become present in large amounts in the body, zits are popping up, hair is springing up, and questions are starting to pop up from your kids! My wife was wanting me to have this talk with the boys and I had no idea when to approach it. I was praying on the timing of when to do this and God answered it in a rather funny and natural way. The kids were on a homeschool field trip. As they were watching a bunch of ducks at a nature preserve, they were suddenly alarmed by one duck trying to “drown another duck”! When they returned home, I was told the story by my wife and then the boys. To save the integrity of the duck, and to follow through on my commitment to be strong and courageous; I saw that God had answered the prayer of when to talk to the boys.


Once I understood what was really going on with the drowning duck incident, I knew it was time. See, I grew up on the farm, and things like drowning ducks and happy cows were a common occurrence. And just like my kids, once I started noticing things like this happening, I received the talk. Now dads, you better be ready to swallow all your laughs, smirks, and blushing. You are about to step off into an area that is all seriousness and will shape your kids perspective and thoughts on sex. You need to be honest and upfront with everything you are about to say and hold nothing back. This is how it went with my boys:

The talk that dads run from no longer!

  • Prayed together with the boys
  • Talked about them seeing any differences in boys and girls
  • Talked about those differences as boys and girls as they grow
    • Changes in their body (be strong)
        • What those parts are called
        • What those parts do
    • Changes in the girl’s body (be courageous)
        • What those parts are called
        • What those parts do
  • The purpose of sex
    • Procreation – Gen 1:28
    • Intimacy – Song 1:13, Song 2:3, Song 2:6
    • Companionship – Song 3:1
    • Physical pleasure between a married couple Song 1:2, Mat 19:5-6, 1 Cor 7:2-3
  • Question & Answer Session


Now when we finished, it was rather quiet in the room. I’m talking you could only hear the ceiling fan turning quiet. However, since that day, my boys have always felt the freedom and ease to come and talk to me about anything dealing with sex. There is a trust that was built between us on that day.

Dad, I was the first with the most! I put it all out there and was willing to answer more. If you are not the first one to approach this subject, someone else will. Are you going to trust your kids future to their friends? God has blessed you with kids, and it’s your responsibility to lead them in his way.

Till next time….
I’m just a husband of a homeschooling mom,

Steve Blackston

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