Being the Spiritual Leader of the Home

Throughout history, men have been the leaders. Countries, kingdoms, states, cities, and towns, for the most part, have been led by men. In the home is it the same. However, it has been noticed that more and more women are stepping up to the position of leader. In some respects, women can be a better diplomat and leader. However, what I am talking about today is a bit different. Men, who is the spiritual leader of your home? Is it you; or your wife?

One of the questions that I have been asked over and over is “How do I get my husband to become the spiritual leader of our home?” This is a mind-blowing question for me. I was raised to be a leader, a take-charge person, one to do what needs to be done even if I did not want to do it; simply because it needed to be done.

Yet when it comes to the matters of spiritual leadership, this is not a matter of physical strength or heroic leadership that people blindly follow. This is a matter of the strength of your faith in God and your depth of knowledge in His Word, the Bible, that makes people want to listen and follow you.

Since the beginning of time, some men have failed to stand up and lead when it comes to the home. Adam was told by God to enjoy everything the garden had to offer. Yet, don’t eat of that one tree. And what happens, Eve takes the fruit and hands it to Adam who then takes a bite as well. Here we have two examples of leadership failure. On one hand, we have Adam not able to lead Eve because she is listening to another while Adam stands by and watches. Secondly, we have the issue of Adam not passing down the spiritual words from God Himself on what is not allowed.

In the book of Ezekiel, God and Ezekiel are discussing Israel. God is telling Ezekiel to go and talk to Israel and tell them what He is saying. God even tells Ezekiel that the nation, not just a person or two, but the entire nation, is hardheaded and hardhearted. They are not willing to listen or lead.

As you can see, this is not a new problem. It is an issue that has been around since the beginning and is still here today. So, what needs to be done to make the men, the husbands, the fathers become the spiritual leaders of their home? Keep reading and don’t give up, I got some thoughts just for that question.

First, it is time for the men of the household to understand something. You are the leader of the house. Let me break that down.

  • You – Adult male in the marriage.
  • Are the leader – the one in charge, the one who confers with this wife and yet makes the final decision after consultation with God.
  • Of the house – the dwelling in which you and your wife and kids reside.

Men, it is your God-given calling to lead within your house. Sadly enough, many women take this role because the man will not step up and do it. Our family needs to see us, the men, setting an example of what it means for a man to be a leader. Not just any leader but a spiritual leader.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Secondly, it is time for the men of the household to get into God’s Word! Men, we can all take time to work in the yard, do our sports, our hobbies, watch movies, and even read books. But are you reading the most important book? Are you working through the scriptures? Are you asking God for guidance? Are you doing devotions with your family? Nowhere in any of that did I ask if you were perfectly doing those things or if you were great at it. I asked are you doing it. The more you dig, study, pray the better you will become. The more they will listen. The more they will trust your leadership.

Lastly, it is time for the men of the household to understand that you can not do this from the back of the pack. Men, you are the first line of defense when it comes to your family physically and spiritually. Satan should have to go through you to get to your wife or your kids.

It is no different than if a person was attempting to enter your house without your permission. I don’t know of a man who would just open the door and say “Come on in and enjoy yourself.” Sadly enough that is what is being done spiritually. It is time for it to stop men. It’s time for us, the men of the house, to take a stand.

I’m not going to lie to you and say that I am a champion leader. There are times that I fall. There are times that I stumble. And yes I have received a black eye or two while battling Satan. However, I get back up and I learn from my mistakes and I go again. But I also have a secret weapon, I have a praying wife.

Women, if you are reading this as well, the best thing you can do for your husband is to pray for him daily. Pray that today will be the day he begins to lead. Pray for his protection in the battle that he is in daily. Support and lift him up and not “nag” and tear him down.

Men, if you need help, reach out to another man who you see as a leader. Talk to them and let them know what you are trying to do for your family and let them know you need their prayers and possibly their consultations. If you get desperate, reach out to me! Let’s talk and see what can be done.

Till next time…

I’m just a husband of a homeschooling mom,

Steve Blackston

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