Are You a Leading Husband For a Submitting Wife

Here is a topic that is thrown around a lot and misused many times. Yet that is what I want you guys to think about today. Are you a leading husband so you can have a submitting wife? It comes down to the question of are you doing what God has directed you to do, so your wife can follow the lead of her husband and do what she should do?

Let’s start at the beginning.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord,
23 for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

Many men will attempt to wield some religious knowledge on their wife with this scripture. “Haven’t you read the Bible? It says that you are to submit to your husband in everything baby. Now, get in there and cook my dinner and get my shoes. Okay?” That is the way many men will attempt to use God’s word to their advantage. You see the husband is correct in saying that these three verses are for the wife, but, lets look a bit further in the scripture and see what the next six verses say for the husband.

Ephesians 5:25-30

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.
27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.
28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church,
30 since we are members of His body.

Now husbands, let’s take this slowly and see what the man should be doing for the wife to be submitting.

Correct Order For Life

Correct Order For Life


Love your wife. Not when it’s convenient, not when you want something in return or when you are looking for that special cleaving time together, but love her always. Don’t set conditions on when and how to love her. Give her unconditional love. Show her unconditional love. When you come home and the house is a mess, love her by either helping her clean it or do it for her. When the laundry is piled up, love her by folding and putting it away. When the floor needs sweeping, love her by sweeping it and not bragging or mentioning it to her.

Clean her with the washing of water by the word. This does not mean that you hose her down while fussing at her. This is stating that you should be praying for your wife. Pray for her patience and attitude daily (they do put up with us guys). Pray for her to do well with time management. Pray for her in her daily quest to teach your children as she home schools them. Pray for her spiritual development, that she will be growing strength and knowledge of God’s word. Pray blessings upon her in her daily life.

You see Christ did this for the church so that when it was presented to Him, it was without spot, holy and blameless. When we do not take the time to love and pray for our wives, we begin to find fault, blame and start to criticize them. I have personally went through this with my wife and know it to be true. Your wife is that special person that God has placed into your life that you are to protect. In protecting her, you would do whatever is necessary, would you not? Then try unconditional love and prayer. I know that in doing that, your wife will become a different person and a submitting wife. Yet, the whole thing relies on you being a leading husband. Lead your family in prayer, devotion time together, who knows maybe even singing a song or two. Either way men, it is up to you as the protector and teacher to take the lead and follow God’s way being a great leader.

Let me hear your thoughts and maybe even your experiences on this. Who knows, your words may even help others.

Till next time,
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,
Steve Blackston

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