During the 2018 Teach Them Diligently conventions across the southeast, I was given the privilege to speak to men about homeschooling. Yet during this time, I was curious about what other dads were thinking and struggling within the homeschool life. Well, they wrote down some questions and I told them I would answer them. They cover all kinds of subjects and areas, so get ready for “Answers from the Husband of a Homeschooling Mom”
Today’s two questions come from Kevin and Nathan! I am putting these together because they both deal with helping the wife.
“How do we help our wife avoid feeling overwhelmed?
“How can you encourage your wife and diffuse negative emotions without making her feel ignored?
The way that I have found to encourage my wife and attempt to diffuse negative emotions is rather hard for most men. It requires us to listen to our wives. Not just hear them but listen to them and what they are saying. Then we must simply let them talk it out. I have said in my talks that there needs to be a point where the men simply listen and not try to solve everything as she is talking. Sometimes people just want to release the steam or stress of the day and they are not looking for immediate solutions. But men hear of a problem and do what they can to fix it.
Men, before you open your mouth, pray. Pray for your wife. Pray for your words. Pray for the tone of your voice when you do talk to her. This is where your daily Bible reading is going to come into big play. If you have been reading and studying Gods word, you will be more equipped to give encouragement.
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.” (Pro 16:24 HCSB)
Are you as the husband of your wife, speaking words to build something strong or are you tearing down? What are your words doing to your wife? When we stop and think about it, we are all guilty of tearing down each other at times. Negative emotions are built on words that tear down. But this is a chance that we have to rebuild and rebuild better than before! You see guys, we have to make our words sweet to the taste and healthy to the body. If you like to take bitter tasting medicine or eat bitter tasting food, you would be what I would call unusual. Most of the world would rather have something sweet than something bitter. Look at the 5, yes 5, blog post I did on praying for your wife. They might just give you some extra insight.
Most of the time we have our ideas of what is needed by the man of the house. We think of outdoor chores, cleaning the garage, or working of the automobiles. But what about helping in the house. Helping with dishes, folding the clothes, sweeping the floors, taking a class and teaching it to the kids. As I have said in many talks to men, let your wife go a soak in the tub by herself while you handle any issues, problems, questions that may arise while she chills. This should not be a one time things, but make it a nightly event for her. These are all things that you can do to help your wife not feel so overwhelmed. I have found that when she and I go to a restaurant for dinner every now and then helps. That’s right guys, $0.50 lemon-pepper wings and sweet potato fries on a date night and I can watch the stress melt away in my woman! Yeah, I am blessed!
Guys, I can not guarantee that anything here will work for every woman. But it is a start. And the best place for you to start is on your knees and with a Bible in your hands.
Till next time…
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,